Brixey Banter

"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars - I could really use a wish right now"

"I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this"

Gah.

It's just another day in southern Missouri. I am still jobless. I will still not have a place to live in about a month.

That leaves me with a ton of packing to do soon. And finding a job. And a place to live. And a life. Oh. That too.

I guess I'm leaving here to go to KC on Thursday. I'm going to stop in Springfield on my way home to see a friend on my way home. Crystal and Brian's wedding is Friday night too. I think on Sunday we're going to a wine tasting in Urich. Lisa and I were talking about joining in some grape stomping but I'm not sure how that would work out for us. Oh wait. It's on Saturday! I have a feeling we won't be going after all what with a wedding reception the night before!

I guess tomorrow I will work on a couple articles for the Examiner. And write an article to try out for the Interior Decorating Examiner in KC. I have to write a tryout article, just like when I did for the modern furniture article. Hmm...I think I'll write about Sicis tile...and I need three additional ideas to send her. Maharam fabrics? Check. Something on wallcovering? Need to work on that one. Hmmm...

I'm liking the new Typepad word counter. Up to 242!

It's already 10 pm. No nap today and slept like crap again last night. 4 animals in one bed is a bit much.

I need to get some pictures tomorrow of Gabby eating her dinner with her paws. Poor Grace goes in for her girlie surgery tomorrow. We're wondering if they can perform something to tuck her poor little puppy vajayjay back up. She has some skinny doggy issues down there. She's need a puppy breast(s) reduction too but we're pretty sure they don't do that.

Interesting end to Sons of Anarchy. Mom turned it on...I'm surprised.

We watched Killers tonight. It was kind of dumb but it made both of us laugh out loud so I guess that's the point. I think we'll get Date Night tomorrow night (Redbox!).

Man. Why is LIFE so irritating? That's the only good word I could come up with to explain my general lack of whelm (I am neither overwhelmed nor underwhelmed, can I just be whelmed?).

I guess I'll either work on my George Nelson clock article and get it done (finally) or go to bed. So many choices...what to do...

Oh! Don't forget to check out the Craft Blog for a new post on Halloween yard decor!! Good stuff, y'all!

"Make cupcakes not war"

Hello friends.

The first thing I want to do here is give a big shout out to my old Ikon 5 coworkers! I can't believe you guys still read this silly crap I write about!!! I love you!

Andrea - keep up with the running. It sounds like you are still loving it!

Dan - I just downloaded an entire Citizen Cope cd from Itunes the other day after seeing him on Ellen and thinking of you :)

Ben - a kid? Really? Congrats!

Ryan - I'm glad to hear you are still the same Ryan I know and miss :)

Mike Deak - I miss your sense of humor but I don't miss answering the phone when you weren't around!

And to everyone else I didn't pick out individually, I DO miss you :)

Nextly, ha ha...that's not a word, is it?

The wedding seemed to go on without a hitch. Christie and Mike are now happily married and all of us architect geeks had a nice time enjoying the beauty of Saarinen's chapel. If you read my article last week (hint, hint) you will know that I was doubly admiring the awesomeness of the locale for the nuptials.

The food at the reception was amazing! And, I got an A+ for remembering all 8 of the little girls' names (Christie's nieces). Her family is so beautiful! So many kids! I truly enjoyed spending time with her sisters and Mom. Julie Monroe is an amazing woman.

Christie's dress was exactly perfect for her.

Yes, I realize that my grammar in today's post is pure nonsense. Moving on...

After the wedding, Russ, Lee and myself went out and I should have stopped drinking. I tripped over a curb while running in my beautiful red heels and skinned up my knee (ouch!). In my stupidity, I decided it was a good idea to take my shoes off and therefore ended up stubbing my toe so bad that my toenail is going to fall off.

*GROSSNESS ALERT - SKIP NEXT PARAGRAPH IF GROSSED OUT EASILY*

So when I got home at 11:30 on Sunday night, my right big toe was throbbing SO BAD that I took a look at it and it was all bluish underneath the not quite attached at the end toenail. I ended up having to take a utility knife (couldn't find my No. 11 exacto) laced with triple antibiotics and sliced the skin between the toenail and where it attaches (it was all swollen). All this blood just oozed out like crazy. It took like 3 minutes to get it all cleaned out and not bleeding. Gross. So gross. But now it isn't throbbing anymore!

*GROSSNESS ALERT OVER*

Yesterday, Lisa's parents had a nice lunch at their house so all I had to do is literally skip over across the street for awesome food. Of course, skipping is off the agenda for a while so I gimped over instead. After 3.5 hours visiting, I went home to take a nap and slept a REALLY LONG TIME. Ugh. I'm still tired!

Anyway, I got a new Johnny Cupcakes shirt "Make Cupcakes Not War" and another shirt at a fairy shop. It's a David & Goliath so you know it rocks!

If you want to see wedding pics, you'll have to go to my Facebook page because I am so not ready to sit here for another hour and upload an album on the blog. Sorry!

And I forgot to mention that I got to visit with my mentor and friend, Kendra and Ripley (her doggie). That was nice getting to see her house and her!!

And I want this tshirt because I love zombies!

"all I said to you all I did for you seems so silly to me now"

Unemployment Day 13

I called Adam and asked him if he could come over and unstick my stuck window. He said he would be over in 30 minutes. Like a big ass baby, I broke down after he came over and we talked for a little while. It's not like I invited him over so I could cry. It just happened. I felt really bad for him. Awkward! He just hugged me and maybe that's all I needed? A hug.

It's been a kind of rough year: moved here without a job, finally found a job and it pretty much sucked, got a boyfriend, lost Ida and blew out a tire on the way to put her down, boyfriend dumped me after I fell madly in love with him and finally lost my crappy job. You would think I would feel more relieved to have less stress working there. I do. But it also means I have more time to sit and feel sorry for myself. Which is totally ridiculous. I mean, although I am unemployed, I have a considerable income coming in (Thank you NJ) and don't have to feel like I need to rush to get another crappy job. But that's it. I have so much time to myself.

I like doing things. Keeping busy. It's hard to keep busy when there is only so much you have to accomplish in a day.

I need to start making those darn totes. That will take more time off my hands. Of course, that means I have to actually take a step FORWARD and DO something worthwhile. Besides slowly clean the house and make snickerdoodles (which turned out GREAT - I gave the leftovers to Adam when he left). Darn Martha and her stupid great cookie cookbook. She's one of those women I love to hate but can't seem to justify hating because her ideas are so dead on awesome.

Anyway, I have sad, crying eyes. I hate that feeling. Go away tears. I'm tired of crying. Over a boy. So stupid. I'm stronger than this...

The good news is that the new Tegan and Sara cd comes out in two days! So exciting! Not that I actually have money to buy it but I'll find a way! It's SO good (listening to it on Myspace right now). Their first album they wrote together. Man, I love their voices.

Also, it's the final week before Halloween!! Fun!!! I got a few costume items bought. I only need a jacket, shirt and hat now! Woo! I found a pair of boots at the DAV for $5!! Sweet! In my size! And a scarf and some pants I can tuck into said boots...I hope they fit. I still haven't put them on...guess I should do that soon.

Okay, I need to go home and experiment with those mini pumpkin cheesecakes. I'm kind of scared that I'll put a ton of effort into them and they won't turn out...but I guess that's what happen when you experiment with baking. Wish me luck! I know Colleen hopes they turn out!

I'll be back tomorrow sometime!

"maybe I would have been something you'd be good at"

It's been a long time since I was in love. Hell, it's been a long time since I allowed myself to be in a position to fall in love. That also means that it's been a long time since I have had my heart broken.

Until now.

Have you ever met someone and knew that they were the one? Well, I haven't. But I was intrigued by Adam. So intrigued that within weeks, I was head over heels for him. He was nothing like my ex, which meant everything in the world. The best part was that he obviously felt the same. We spent nearly every possible second away from work together. And we liked it and each other. We were in that whole beginning romance stage where sleep doesn't matter anymore, only the pleasure of seeing each other. All the time. Heaven.

Within a month, the sacred "l" word had already been used and I know I meant it with all my heart. At the time, he did too.

Things were going great until all of the sudden they weren't. He's a workaholic but that's fine because I'm a craftaholic. I have plenty of things to keep me busy while he was working both for his dad and in his wood shop on various projects. But then he went to Florida and all of the sudden things were different.

He came back and worked all the time in the wood shop. That first week I saw him once. I don't mind his work tenacity but to go from hot to cold so quickly was a shock. He claimed work but at the same time he seemed very distant. I'm not one to hold stress against anyone. I stress out probably more than anyone I know, so I let things go. What else was I supposed to do? I try not to be THAT nagging girlfriend who gets jealous of everything, including work.

Then things got okay again. He was still distant but making an effort.

Then back to weird.

This went on for over a month. After nearly a week of not seeing him and him being all distant and detached when I did see him, my heart broke down and called it quits. My brain told me to keep trying but my heart ached in pain. I cried a lot for a couple of days.

But then he let me help him in his shop with some wood work stuff and said we were bonding. It was a good couple of nights. That Thursday, I was going to help him for the third night in a row and was making our dinner when he called telling me he was going to watch tv with his brother. I think that's when I knew for sure. He hadn't taken time to just "hang out" with me in nearly two weeks and kept talking about how he really need to get his work done but then he goes and takes a break with his brother. Fine. I'm not invited. I understand. But it was sudden. We had spent a good couple of nights just talking and having a good time. Or so I thought.

I don't know why, maybe my heart knew something my brain didn't, but I cried myself to sleep again that night for the last time.

Friday afternoon he was apparently downtown visiting his art gallery friends and they weren't there so he called me. We went for a couple of beers at West Side Local and talked before he went out with some old guy friends of his. We talked about how some people, like him, aren't very open with their feelings. Then there's me, who can't keep a secret. At least I make it known. He said he would call me when he got home. He didn't. I wasn't surprised. The next day he worked all day. I went to nephew soccer games and Lisa's yard sale. That night there was a Hogs game on tv and I don't have cable. He came and picked me up around 8 pm and we went to Tower Tavern so I could see the game. I leaned over to kiss him at one point and he said I was very clingy that evening. He dropped me off around 11 pm claiming he was tired. He's never done that before. Sunday he went to a Chiefs game with some clients said he would call that afternoon. He never did. I knew then that it was definitely over. He called on Monday evening around 7 and wanted to stop by to talk. He hugged me when he walked in instead of his usual kiss.

He sat down on the couch and I sat back down on the floor where I was organizing Alicia's baby clothes. We made small talk for a couple of minutes before I said "So what's going on?" and he said something like "How do you know something is going on?" and I said "Well, you said you wanted to come over and talk. I'm not an idiot. I know that something is going on." Then he said "I just don't feel the way I think I should feel." Whatever the fuck that means. It's not like I was surprised and I told him that. He had been acting weird and minus my occasional paranoia, I am pretty good at reading people. I told him that he hadn't been fair to me because I knew that something was up and he did too and it took him that long to tell me. He sat there for a bit and said he felt awkward and left. As he was leaving, I told him that I didn't mean to be mean, I was just hurt. I'm sure he thought I didn't mean it because I only got a few tears in my eyes.

I knew it was coming. My tears were spent days before.

I had him stop back by the next Sunday to return some things I had left with him and told him I wasn't mad at him anymore and maybe some day we could be friends.

A PART OF THIS POST HAS BEEN CENSORED BY ME.

I can't blame him for breaking up with me. You can't help how you feel. We've all been there. But to go from such hot to cold feelings in such a short time makes me wonder what was up. Did I say something or do something? Did someone else say something or do something? Did his ex have anything to do with this? Does she have a more powerful grasp on his feelings than he even knew?

Now I have all these negative, broken heart emotions that I'm dealing with. At one point, I get angry. The other end is the sadness. I can't stop thinking about it. I don't know if I'm still mending a broken heart or just trying to figure out what went wrong. The latter of which I shouldn't even try to deal with because I probably don't want to know. The problem is the endless hours of me alone with my thoughts. My stupid ping pong ball in a small room brain is going crazy.

Thursday night, I drove down to Mom's and all I could think about were the songs that expressed my broken heart and the stupidity of my soul wanting to make a "mixed tape" and leave it on his door even though my brain knows it's the stupidest idea I've had in 2009. So, in order to stop obsessing over it, I'll post my play list up here as I come up with it. Just because I don't give it to him, doesn't mean I can't still make it. Maybe it will help my heart mend?

I'll keep working on it until it doesn't keep being an obsession...

1. Call It Off - Tegan and Sara
2. Your Cloud - Tori Amos
3. Black Hole - She & Him
4. Don't Wanna Cry - Pete Yorn

I wish you woulda put yourself in my suitcase

Hello!

For the past month or so, my favorite new cd (new as in new for me) has been Coconut Records by Jason Schartman and crew. There is something about Jason's voice that just makes me all sappy like. Much like Rhett Miller's solo work puts me into a "boys are some awesome" and warm fuzzies...I get all warm inside. It's nice. That's how Jason's cd affects me. Sweet. My fave song is still "West Coast." :)

So a big weekend ahead of me. Well, bigger than all my boring weekends anyway. Christie and MD are coming for a reception tonight in Princeton and have therefore decided to stay the weekend. Since Julie's birthday is in two weeks, we will all be going to dinner tomorrow night. Then we have a little surprise for Julie. Not a big one, since everyone except me seems to be sick, but a little one at least.

I think we're doing something tomorrow too but no one has come up with exactly WHAT yet!

The week has been fairly good. Not that I've accomplished much. I have worked out three times thus far and dieted zero times. Oh well. At least I worked out! My thighs are KILLING me today. I think I'm going to really try to go for a run on Sunday. I have this beginner runner's schedule and am hoping it will help me out some. It only asks for running three times a week, which goes well with my schedule. I can run and then do abs and arms with some videos at home. We'll see how motivated I really am when Sunday comes and goes.

I got home last night and was puzzled by the fact that someone has locked my door differently than I do...one lock versus two locks. Imagine my happy surprise to find a BRAND SPANKIN'  NEW OVEN in my tiny kitchen! I knew I cleaned the kitchen Wednesday night for a reason!! Woo hoo! Baking! Here I come! To go with my baking, I decided to cash in some of my rewards from an old credit card company since I always seem to lose them. I ordered one of these. I think that now with the BRAND SPANKIN' NEW OVEN my baking mania can only get better. Oh the curious little sweet bits I have plans to make...

Also, with the new IHome (see photo near top), I need to come up with a rock out Baking Playlist. How can one bake with the proper motivational music?? You just can't.

In strange happenings, I got a text from the Irish Boy (whose phone number I deleted on Monday when consulting my friends in his...suspended presence). It was from a number I had never seen and simply said "Carrie-it's [Hot Irish Boy]-I found my phone-going to get it later in Queens" WTF? WTF(ity)F?!?! Being a girl who is trying not to dwell on negative issues, I couldn't help but be slightly excited when I got this text, knowing that I should just ignore it. I text'd back "[Hot Irish Boy] who? You have some explaining to do." Thirty minutes later I get "I will. once i get my phone." It's been 20 hours. Still nothing. I'm not going to put much thought into after I write this post because I just don't know how to handle the situation yet. It's so...preposterous. Although, not making any excuses to defend him, but if I lost my phone I wouldn't have any numbers either. However, if I really liked someone and knew both where they worked and where they lived, I would try to make contact. That's all I feel like saying on the subject.

Well, better go. It's work time.

My very own Aidan?

Yeah, so I met this guy at the hardware store (because in Lambertville the hardware store is apparently THE PLACE for girls like me (cute you know) to meet boys). It wasn't really a big deal. I mean, we were just waiting and he started talking to me.

He is a furniture designer/maker and was picking up some sandpaper. Me? I was getting keys made (again, I might add). I think I'll stop by to see his furniture at his brother's art gallery.

He COULD be married. He COULD have a girlfriend. These aren't questions that get resolved in a simple hardware store conversation.

He IS moving to Chicago in a month.

He WAS cute.

Just something to think about.

Another song meme.

I stole this meme from Badger, whom I read religiously. The meme is the ole "put your songs on shuffle" kind of thing.

Please note that I deleted all of my Itunes songs this morning and reinstalled them. I suddenly have about 500 of the most embarrassing songs in the world show up that I didn't even know I had hidden in there...WTF?

Enjoy.

What is missing from my life?
Somebody To Love - Jefferson Airplane
(Nag, nag, nag! Even Itunes nags me about being single!!)

Will I find love?
The First Taste - Fiona Apple
(Well, that's not good..."...I'm growing weary waiting to be consumed by you" It sounds like I'm the one to find love...and that's as far as it goes...blah. Men are stinky.)

Will I become rich?
Down So Long - Jewel
(Who knew I had Jewel on here?? "Fat man takes my money." I'm on the lookout for that damn fat man who is going to take my money...after I become rich of course)

Does someone have a crush on me?
Take Me For Longing - Alison Krauss & Union Station
(Um...I guess this means yes?)

What is my favorite sexual position?
Down Under - Colin Hay
(well, possibly...)

Am I good looking?
This Boy - The Beatles
(Well that's not very reassuring...does that mean I look like one of the Beatles? Hopefully not Ringo)

What makes me most happy?
Not A Pretty Girl - Ani Difranco
(Actually, being a pretty girl makes me pretty happy, but whatever...)

What is my biggest regret?
Breaking Up The Girl - Garbage
(I don't think I've actually ever broken up a girl...maybe a boy or two...or four)

How will I die?
Not All Me - Alanis Morissette
(Freaky deaky...I won't go into this one!!)

Do I act my age?
Just Another - Pete Yorn
(Who cares? I'm Pete's baby...)

What kind of tattoo should I get?
Dear Prudence - The Beatles
(I don't know any one named Prudence! I'm sure as hell not going to get her tattooed on my ass!)

What is my spirit/animal guide?
Beverly Hills - Weezer
(I do read a lot of Perez Hilton)

Do I like pain?
Sorry So Sorry - Howie Day
(I'm guessing that he's apologizing for beating me senseless...and I liked it, much to his dismay)

Is there anyone out there like me?
Us and Them - Pink Floyd
(Evidently we are all alike - ordinary men)

Do I love to party?
The Way It Really Is - Lisa Loeb
(That would be a big fat yes! "I'm crazy...I do this all the time...Maybe I am hiding in my own confusion." I must have Britney's problem!)

Where should I move to?
Wherever I May Roam - Metallica
(My next car will be a Winnebago)

Will I ever be president?
Delicate - Damien Rice
(I'm too busy making out with Damien Rice...)

What is fun for me?
Dedicated - The Amps
(Stalking?)

Will I ever learn to fly?
All Is Full Of Love - Bjork
(It's a sign...if I start wearing feathers just like Bjork, I will, in fact, fly...just maybe not in the air)

What is my superpower?
No More Pain - 2Pac
(Self explanatory)

Will I be successful?
Grounded - Garrison Starr
(Yes...you can't keep me grounded, baby!)

How often do I get angry?
Cool - Gwen Stefani
(I never get angry. Duh.)

What is my favorite thing to do?
Love Soon - John Mayer
(Gimme some lovin'!)

happy freaking black tuesday.

i'm actually not that bitter. i was given a faux fur coat from my mom, candies and a card from my friend julie, a box of v-day cards from my aunt and a tiny box of chocolates from myself.

i just think that the whole day is pretty useless. why cop out and only show your love on a day created by the people who benefit most from it: the card and candy people? those commercial floozies. if you love someone you should express it everyday. and probably even send super moments of love at times when it's least expected (super moments include such things as flowers and cards and candy).

maybe this is another reason i'm single: i expect too much.

probably only because i give that much and expect it in return.

anyway, i would be unhappy if i was dating someone and i didn't get anything for valentine's day. so i guess i'm a hypocrit.

oh wait. that happened to me on valentine's day 2004. oh yeah. i was dating someone and i didn't get anything.

that's right.

oh wait. i did get a cookout with my significant other and his drunk buddies and then got ditched for "the studio" which caused me to join a friend (mutual between me and bf) for a night on the town of drinking, ending our "party like rock stars" night at alex's tavern at 4 am with a dead phone after spending the evening taking shooters at both the hi-tone and the blue monkey, watching a very large half naked black woman chase down a very scrawny half naked black man across the street all the while screaming at him wildly right as we pulled up outside, a lost boyfriend and a plastic cup full of crown royal. luckily the bf showed up and drove me home where i continued to lay on his couch for 18 hours straight wondering what on earth had caused me to choose that night to begin my "party like a rock star" binge.

we had been dating them for about a year and a half...the year before i didn't get anything either. funny how that worked out...

anyway, thanks to meish dot org for their lovely compilation of anti-valentine day cards. they gave me such a laugh. you can find the following cards, and many more at the link above (meish dot org).

thanks for reading. yo.

i want a big snow!!!

i was reading some girl's post earlier and she wrote that the reason we are bored is probably because we are boring. she is correct. i am bored and i am boring. oh well!

i have nothing new to report since i posted last.

let's see. what can i bore you with now?

past boyfriend stories? past idiot stories? i'm trying to think of something funny that has happened to me.

nothing is coming to me. so funny since i talk all the time.

i know!

i wish it would snow. there was this one snow in college. it was huge. unfortunately too, it happened our last semester in like the first few weeks of school which meant we already had senoritis (second year seniors...5 years required, remember?). it was wonderful!

i remember the report on the news (via my mother i'm sure) said that there was a big snow coming, but you just never really know so we didn't believe it would snow that much. christie and i had a class together that morning (thursday) at 9:30 - 10:50 am. about 20 minutes into class, it started to snow. no big deal. well, by the time class over over, there was like 3 inches of snow on the ground! it was insane! and it was still snowing.

i lived off campus about 1/2 mile or so. uphill all the way to school. a huge slope too. well, i walked home from class to eat lunch before i came back to studio. people were sledding down the hills, there were cars in the (huge) ditches. and i'm not talking about cars just in ditches, i'm talking about cars high-centered on ditches. it was wild.

i went home and ate and walked back to school the same route (one street off the main street in order not to get hit by sliding cars). i didn't have class but we had a project due on friday and i needed to get back to studio to work on it. by then there was about 6 inches of snow on the ground. and still snowing of course.

it was so fun walking back. everyone in school seemed to be sledding down the hills or playing in the snow. i fell a couple of times on my walk up that huge hill and just laughed with other people sledding by me who would fall of their sleds or what not. it was just like one of those movies where everyone is playing in the snow and laughing.

on my way to class, i had to pass my guy friends' house. i had just started dating one of their best friend's the week before* so i decided to stop by and see if he was going to be there on my way up to school (their house was 1/2 block off campus). i didn't make it to campus until sunday afternoon! school was cancelled for the rest of the week.

when i walked into that house, the boys were all putting on their "warm" gear and going for a sled ride. i was handed a bottle of crazy chicken (wild turkey) and so began our weekend downhill slide (sled if you will) of drunken snowy fun!

friday night we met up with all my architecture classmates at a local beer bar and we had a blast trying to get there and walk back home. it was so strange that on most days although it was the way i got to most places, walking seemed more fun in the snow. it wasn't harder to walk in necessarily, just different. it took us alot longer to get anywhere but we pretty much kept a flask of crazy chicken with us all weekend and that really helped melt the cold.

my fondest memory is our midnight sledding trip. the best place on campus at that time to sled was right next to the campus medical place, which was only open like 8 -5 monday - friday. at the bottom of the hill was a creek and on the other side of the creek were some little bitty trees. there were two girls and like 5 or 6 boys in our group and a bunch of other people we didn't know. they handed me one of those round sled disks and i remember distinctly saying "what if i hit a tree?" as i took a shot of crazy chicken. it was so cold out! and they were like "you won't hit a tree!" so i flew down the hill and by god, sure enough, if i didn't hit the only tree in like 30 feet! luckily i sled down the hill backwards (those things are hard to control) and hit it with my uber poofy back. as soon as i hit it, i just fell over sideways giggling uncontrollably, completely not hurt. but everyone else was at the top of the hill and all came down at once and there we were: a bunch of drunk college students laying in 8 inches of snow at the bottom of a big ass hill giggling in the middle of the night...

what a great week.

it just looked it up. january 27, 2000. it snowed until after 9 pm that night.

* our first date was during the total lunar eclipse the week before. he picked me up in his old bronco. he had fiona apple's "when the pawn..." cd playing and i thought that was so awesome. then he started driving me out to the middle of nowhere! i remember saying "are you taking me out in the middle of the woods to murder me?" he just laughed. it ended up his roommate was housesitting and a small group of us sat in a hot tub with snow and ice all around us in the middle of nowhere and watched the eclipse and drank beer. i kept wondering why he asked me to bring my bathing suit!

it was a perfect first date.

why i should be banned from formal events:

two earlier conversations between me (c) and two different coworkers (cw):

conversation #1:

c: yeah. i was putting a song by korn on his cd and the clean version has the word "shit" in it. what's up with that?
cw (who listens to country music almost exclusively): the only thing i know about korn is...
c: that sometimes it's in your poopie?

conversation #2:

cw: is everyone bringing their wives to the [work christmas] party?
c: i'm not bringing mine.
cw: *laughing* and why not?
c: i can't take that bitch anywhere.

please note that although i have nothing against lesbians, i am not one. i just said that for dramatic effect.